“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).
Why did God create sex? Why did He take one of the most complicated processes in the world—the creation of a child—and make it so simple that almost anyone could do it, without even taking a class in sex education? As I’ve looked through the Bible, I’ve found two reasons: through sex, God created a way to fulfill the desires of His heart, while at the same time fulfilling the desires of our hearts.
And what are the desires of His heart? We find out in the first words God spoke to the first couple on earth. You might be surprised that His first words to them were about sex, but they were! Take a look at what God said to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden:
“God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it’” (Genesis 1:28a).
God told them to be fruitful and increase in number, and the way that people are fruitful is through sex.
Some people might think that the Bible is boring, but not the way I read it! Here in the opening scene you have two people, completely naked, standing in the middle of an exotic paradise, and the first thing their Creator says to them is, “Have at it! Be fruitful! Multiply!” Whew! If a movie came out this summer with an opening scene like that, teens and adults alike would line up around the block to go see it!
My wife Lana and I have taken those words to heart, and six kids later we’re still having an awesome time fulfilling those first words that God spoke to the first people on the earth!
What do God’s words to Adam and Eve tell us about the desires of His heart? On the surface, they tell us that He wants us to be fruitful and multiply. But why? Why does God want so many people?
Why? Because God loves people. He absolutely loves them, including you and me. God loves people so much that He wants the earth to be filled with them. One of the most famous verses in the Bible says, “For God so loved the world…” (John 3:16a).
God created sex for more than just to give Adam and Eve something to do on a Saturday night! God wanted them to be fruitful and multiply because He loves people and wants to have an intimate relationship with each and every one of us. God was so eager to see that you were born that He made it as easy and as attractive as possible for your parents to get together and create you.
The Desires of My Heart
But if you go back just a little further in the story of Adam and Eve, you’ll see that God didn’t create sex simply to fulfill the desires of His heart. He also created sex in a way that it would fulfill the desires of their hearts.
The day I discovered that God wanted to fulfill Adam and Eve’s desires was the same day I asked Lana to marry me.
Lana and I had met several years earlier when we both were in college together at the University of Illinois. But after we graduated, I moved to Texas and she moved to Michigan. A few years later, we wondered if God might want us to get back together again—this time for marriage. So Lana moved to Texas so that we could pray about the decision together. Early one Saturday morning, Lana came to my apartment and we went to watch a friend run a race. After the race, we came back to my apartment for some quiet time with God before going on with our day. Lana went to the living room with her Bible and I went to my bedroom with mine.
Just a few days earlier, I had finished reading through the entire Bible for the first time in my life, so I wasn’t sure where to start reading again. I decided to start over from the beginning. I opened up to the first page of the first book of the Bible. I began to read about Adam, the first man on earth, and how God had set him in the Garden of Eden to work the land and take care of the animals. But in the midst of this beautiful setting, surrounded by all kinds of great things, God saw that Adam was still alone:
“The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’” (Genesis 2:18).
So God put Adam to sleep, took a rib from his side and created Eve, the first woman on earth. Then God brought her to Adam.
Even though I had heard this story since I was a kid, this was the first time I had seen it from God’s perspective. As I read the story, my heart fell, as I’m sure God’s must have fallen, when God saw how lonely Adam was. Then my heart rose again, as God’s must have risen, when God created Eve and brought her to Adam. I’ll bet the smile on Adam’s face was about a mile wide!
As I pictured this scene in my mind, I suddenly had an intense awareness that God was looking down at me in the same way! There I was, surrounded by all kinds of great things, yet I was still alone. In that moment, God spoke to my heart in a way that went beyond words. He showed me that He had created a woman for me, too, and had brought her to me—right there in the next room! After months of praying, I finally knew that God really did want to fulfill the desires of my heart. He really did want me to marry Lana.
I ran down the hall to tell Lana what God had just told me. I didn’t stop to look in the mirror as I ran, but if I did, I’ll bet the smile on my face was about a mile wide! We talked, we cried, I asked her to marry me and she said, “Yes!”
When we were married a few months later, I discovered that God had fulfilled my desire for intimacy in a way that went beyond all I could ask or imagine. Sexual intimacy with my wife has become the most consistently exhilarating, off-the-charts experience of my life!
Throughout this book, I want to tell you not only how God has fulfilled the desires of my heart, but how God longs to fulfill the desires of your heart, too—because in doing so, God also fulfills the desires of His heart.
God’s Twin Purposes for Sex
When you put these two scenes together from the life of Adam and Eve, you get a rich snapshot of God’s twin purposes for creating sex:
- God wants us to be intimate.
- God wants us to be fruitful.
Through sex, God has made a way for us to do both, simultaneously.
If you want to have the best possible sex life, you’ll want to keep this snapshot at the forefront of your mind. At first glance, it may seem obvious that God created sex so that husbands and wives could be intimate and fruitful. But many people, myself included, have engaged in sex in ways that aren’t obvious at all. Ways that don’t lead to intimacy with anyone, let alone the husband or wife God has in mind for them. Ways that would never produce life. Ways that could even lead to death—whether it’s their own, someone else’s, or the death of a child who has been unexpectedly conceived.
My hope with this book is to make the obvious…well, obvious again! I know how other things can cloud our minds to God’s Truth, but I also know how God’s Truth, when we honestly seek it, can break through and clear away the clouds.
I know that it wasn’t until I discovered what God says about sex that I began to get a picture in my mind of the kind of sex life God had in store for me all along—one that He was still holding out for me if I was willing to take hold of it. One that He’s still holding out for you, if you’re willing to take hold of it, too.
God’s Desires for You
How does God’s picture of an off-the-charts sex life line up with yours? How do God’s hopes and dreams for your life line up with your hopes and dreams? Perhaps you even wonder if God has any hopes and dreams for your life? My prayer is that the truths that I’ve learned from God’s Word will help you to see that God does have hopes and dreams for your life, just as they’ve helped me, and many others, to see that God has hopes and dreams for our lives.
I’m excited for what God wants to share with you. In all the years that I’ve been applying these truths from God’s Word to my sexual life, I’ve found that there is still no experience on earth that comes anywhere close to my sexual relationship with my wife.
The fact that you’re reading this book at all makes me think that you want to experience this kind of abundant life, too—a life where your dreams and desires line up completely with God’s. I believe you really want to do the “right thing,” but I also know how hard it can be to know what the “right thing” is until someone speaks the truth with clarity.
Would you believe me if I told you that God wants to fulfill the desires of your heart even more than you want them fulfilled? That God really does have desires for your life that you may have only caught a glimpse of so far? In spite of sounding like a sensational headline on a check-out line magazine, it’s true that God really does want you to have an awesome sex life! He really is for you, not against you, in your passionate pursuit of fulfilling the desires of your heart.
I’d like you to take a look at the review questions below. When you’re done, we’ll take a look at one of the best pieces of wisdom that God has ever given me regarding sex.
1. What were God’s first words to the first couple on earth? (Genesis 1:28)
2. Why did God create Eve and bring her to Adam? (Genesis 2:18)
3. What are the twin purposes for which God created sex, as revealed in these two scenes?
4. Why would God want the world to be filled with people? (John 3:16)